I wrote this song because I was frustrated being my own worst enemy day after day. I wanted to draw awareness to the opiate epidemic that plagued Long Island. I knew I was far from alone. I actually remember almost canceling the song because it would conflict with me getting what I felt I needed.
To me, this song is about how the glamorizing/romanticizing of a substance is a big hurtle to jump for the person trying to recover. Overall though I think it’s about how someone’s obsession has the ability to consume them, ruin their lives, and potentially kill them. When you suffer from the “disease of addiction”, and you’re active in that lifestyle, you don’t really care about the outcome. Well, at least I didn’t.
I was frustrated being my own
worst enemy day after day.
What it means to me... The song was demoed some time ago (About 6 or 7 years ago I’m guessing). Being that so much time has passed I feel differently now than when I had written/ recorded it. When I wrote the song, although I was totally aware of how bad things were I couldn’t stop. At the time, the song made me sad because it was basically paraphrasing a journal entry that I would write every day of a life I hated living. Now the song symbolizes hope to me. I’m proud to say that I have abstained from my dependency for 4 years this upcoming September 2016.
Listen to Billy's song at https://soundcloud.com/bam-